Self-sabotage is a very frustrating experience when it is stopping you from achieving what your heart truly desires, but with awareness, healing and rewiring we can break the cycle of self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is something that all of us have experienced. More often than not you will experience it in some but not all areas of your life. It is a very frustrating experience, particularly when the thing you are focused on changing or achieving is really important to you. Procrastination, finding ways to prioritise other things ahead of your goal, finding reasons you can’t finish your goal, these are all forms of self-sabotage. It is quite common to experience these behaviours when it is something you don’t actually want to do, and this in itself is not a problem. It only becomes a problem when it is stopping you from achieving what your heart truly desires, be it a new career, a healthy body, a relationship etc.
There are many reasons why we self-sabotage, but broadly speaking it is driven by a combination of the following:
1. You don’t believe you can have whatever it is you are focused on
If you are experiencing any form of self-doubt, then it is likely that under the surface there is an unconscious belief that doesn’t think you can do it. When it comes to understanding your self-sabotage, your belief system is the first place to look. Because having any form of belief that is working against you achieving what it is that you want will derail any efforts that you make in the long-term. No matter what you try, if you haven’t tackled the root cause of that limiting belief then you are destined to repeat the self-sabotaging pattern. Because once a belief has been formed and accepted by our subconscious mind, it will stay there until it is replaced.
2. You are fearful
The biggest fears that cause us to self-sabotage are the fear of failure and the fear of being judged. Whenever we are doing something that is new or different, one of these fears will inevitably surface. These are natural and normal fears to have, and the bad news is that they aren’t going away, because ultimately no one can guarantee that you won't fail or be judged in anything that you do. This is where your belief structure comes in, because if you held a belief that you were worthy and enough already, then the possibility of judgement or failure wouldn’t impact you as much. This is because you wouldn’t make judgement or failure mean anything about you as a person, because you are already worthy and enough.
‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’
For most of us however, unconsciously we don’t feel that we are completely worthy or enough. So the only difference between those who are able to ultimately achieve what they want vs those that don’t is not that they feel less fear, it’s that they are able to push past the fear and do it anyway. To do this requires awareness of what fear really is and how you experience it. Ask yourself - how does your body react to fear, what do you say to yourself, how do you feel? Start to become aware of how you respond, and then ask yourself if what you are thinking or feeling is a fact or just a possibility that may or may not happen. Because in 100% of cases your fear is not a fact, it is just something that is possible. For every possible thing that you fear could go wrong, there is always something that could go right, this is where your focus needs to be.
When people do move through their fear and feel it anyway, despite how uncomfortable it is at the beginning, over time the fear does disappear. This is because every time you do something despite your fear you have just affirmed to your mind that you can do it. Through this repetition your mind begins to understand this and then the fear will dissipate.
3. Your mind is playing tricks on you
Our minds are programmed and wired to seek out what is familiar and avoid what is unfamiliar. The reason for this is safety, because our minds only job is to keep us safe, and familiarity is safe. It is because of this wiring that change can be so difficult and really a lot of effort. Even when the change we are making is positive, it still feels foreign to our minds and there will always be some resistance. Knowing this can be such a liberating thing, because often it can be pretty confusing why we throw resistance to something that is good for us.
‘Our minds seek out what is familiar and avoid what is unfamiliar.'
You have also probably heard phrases like ‘It takes 21 days to form a habit’ before, and that is because our minds only learn through repetition. The only way to make the unfamiliar become familiar is to repeat it over and over again until it becomes a habit. It is a process of training your mind out of what it has learnt in order to learn a new pattern.
Are you ready to break free of your self-sabotaging patterns?
That is exactly what Rapid Transformational Therapy® is designed to do! Rapid Transformational Therapy® is a hybrid therapy combining the most beneficial principles of Hypnotherapy, NLP, Psychotherapy & Cognitive Behavioural Therapies to help people like you break out of self-doubt and self-sabotaging behaviours so you can finally be free of them.
This is done by going straight to your subconscious mind to unlock and uncover exactly how, why, where and when you acquired the limiting beliefs that cause you to self-sabotage. We then work to heal and release anything that is no longer serving you, reprogram your beliefs using repetition and devise strategies for managing fear.
Get in touch to book your free discovery call and find out more.